he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
