Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize
