i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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