What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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