Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
