fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
wanna go halves on a baby?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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