remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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