there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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