just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
organizing the empties. That sober.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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