We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
