He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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