I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
