I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just high enough for therapy.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
