Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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