He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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