I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
