great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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