Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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