if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
