so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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