I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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