When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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