Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
