his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
