Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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