"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
