OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You left your phone here
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