I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Text me some of your sweat
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
