I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You can't motorboat a personality
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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