after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
