I want to stick my p in your. b.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
