small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
