I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
