I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
