No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
