I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
