Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What a dumb baby whore.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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