dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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