I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
