Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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