Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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