he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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