i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize