just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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