Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?

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(727): View more from Florida

You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.

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(214): View more from Texas

just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?

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(330): View more from Ohio

I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.

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(716): View more from New York

I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out

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(425): View more from Washington

We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding

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(260): View more from Indiana

Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair

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