your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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