Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
