He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
