Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
