i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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