meet me or not, i'm out of control
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
