I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
