this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
