what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
