i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
