NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
