I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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