woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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