i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When are your genitals available?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
