Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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