we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
