I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
