We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
